With more single men than single women in Dane County, I had been wondering where all of these single men were hiding. I think I found them: they’re all farming.
Do I want to date a dairy farmer with no time and doesn't take vacations? Unlikely. But a cute, young, vegetable grower slash baker who sells at the farmers market? Yes please!
I took this past weekend to go on a camping trip with some friends and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends, including a farmer who just happens to fit the description above. And Mr. Farmer and I hit it off.
We talked until the early morning around the campfire, all the others having fallen asleep hours before. Finally, while admiring the stars, I slid an arm around him. He responded by putting his arm around me and holding me tightly. Yay!
After adding a couple more logs to the fire, he resumed his place next to me, said, “You’re wonderful,” and gave me a shoulder bump. I responded in kind. Then…nothing.
Really. We just stood there for awhile.
Okay. Something had to be done. I was definitely coming on stronger than he was, but I had enough positive feedback to know not to say, “Goodnight! I’m going to go to sleep in my one-person tent now. See you in the morning!”
In the most playful way I could muster, I asked, “So…do you just not know how to put the moves on me?”
He laughed. Then he explained that he’s “working hard” to be single right now, which fits with what he was telling me earlier. To get his farm and business off the ground, he’s sequestered himself on his farm for the past few years, just realizing now what he’s been missing out on and striving for more balance. Makes sense that he doesn’t want to add dating to the picture just yet.
He made sure to express that he thought I was great and that he looked forward to getting to know me more, we cuddled around the fire a bit longer, and then went to our separate tents after one last lingering hug.
The next afternoon, after much fun and a significant amount of flirting between me and Mr. Farmer, I took the opportunity of being alone with him to say, “So…I really like you. Can I ask for clarification on you ‘working hard’ on being single? Because that could mean that you need a couple weeks or a few years.”
First off, he said that I took him by surprise the night before since he assumed that I wasn’t single. I found myself extremely complimented. I’m glad he was surprised I was single, because frankly it surprises me, too! He also said that he’s looking to get married and doesn’t want to rush into anything, reiterating that he wants to get to know me better.
All perfectly reasonable, but it did seem a little ridiculous that we were interested in each other, had two conversations about it, and HADN’T EVEN KISSED YET. Perhaps a bit shallow, but come on! If I’m going to stay up all night talking, I expect a little snogging.
Later, as our camping party was breaking up, he slipped me his contact information, and soon my friend and I jumped in my car to head back to good ol’ MadTown. Not knowing any of this had transpired, my friend shared with me what she thought was a cute story: turns out Mr. Farmer had taken a phone call a couple hours prior and tried unsuccessfully to find some privacy on the campground to make plans for a booty call that night.
Okay.
Number one. Given where he’s at in his life, it makes perfect sense for him to have a booty call. Sounds like a good balance of meeting immediate needs while working towards what he ultimately wants.
Number two. What the hell?!! He’s arranging a booty call? I WAS RIGHT THERE. He didn’t have to look beyond that damn campsite he was in! So he’ll go have sex with someone but he won’t even kiss me? What the hell.
When filled in on the whole story, my friend wasted no time telling me that, irrespective of the booty call, this guy wasn’t good enough for me. Reflecting on it, I was probably more caught up in feeling chemistry with someone (something sadly lacking from my internet dates) then feeling true compatibility. And if I’m so taken by a bit of chemistry, I need to get out and feel more chemistry with more people to have some perspective.
Why do I keep coming back to the same conclusion that I need to date more? Fine. Look for me scouring the farmland of Dane County.
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