Dead Baby Jokes

I came across an interesting profile of a lad, and I used his self-professed love of grotesque humor as a way to start a conversation.

In honor of grotesque humor, here is the most grotesque joke I have ever heard:

(Imagine it being told by a man) What's the difference between a dead baby and a ritz cracker? I don't cum on a ritz cracker before I eat it.  

Also, have you seen The Aristocrats?

After a day or so of not hearing from him, I went back and read what I wrote him. Really, I wrote him that? "Hi! I'm thinking perhaps we should get to know each other. Here's a dead baby joke. Oh, and have you seen this movie?"

I'm not sure how long you should know someone before you should introduce dead baby jokes into the conversation, but upon reflection it probably shouldn't be the first contact. But there are exceptions. After a couple of days he emailed me back.

Wow. That's pretty gross. Nice. A female friend of my has some of the best perverted dead-baby jokes, but I hadn't heard that one.My previous favorite:How long does it take to microwave a dead baby?No, I'm asking you. I was too busy masturbating last time.

Hey! I didn't scare him off by introducing myself with a dead baby joke! My moment of self-congratulations didn't last too long, however, because I was now presented with a new problem: where do you go from dead baby jokes? I scoured his profile for something else to converse about, but there wasn't anything that I could transition to from dead baby jokes, and no new topic that wouldn't seem like a huge step back. "Nice dead baby joke! So you're athletic, huh?"

So I finally just emailed him that I had no idea where to take the conversation from dead baby jokes, so how about coffee? I'm sure we would find something to talk about in person. Or I could hear the rest of his grotesque humor repertoire and be simultaneously amused and horrified. Really, I'd be happy with either outcome.

But alas, my offer of coffee has gone unanswered. Perhaps I learned a valuable lesson about dead baby jokes: use them to stop a conversation, not start them. Bad date you want to end? Dead baby joke. And now I know two. Sweet.