First Date with a Second Date U-Haul Lesbian

To understand this, you need to know this joke:

Q: What does a lesbian bring to a second date?A: A U-Haul.

As much as I would like to stand up for lesbians on this one, I am usually laughing too hard at this joke to do so. And I think I am allowed. My first serious girlfriend showed up for our second date with lamps.

Awhile ago I had a date with a woman I met online that was yet another case of meeting someone and five minutes in realizing that there was no chance. I will spare you the details of why I thought she and I would be a terrible match, but I will tell you that the feeling was, unfortunately, not mutual. This woman had Second Date U-Haul Lesbian written aaaaaaall over her. As exemplified by our conversation when we stepped out of the restaurant to leave:

Me: Thanks for having dinner with me.2DUL: Okay! Give me a hug!

Uncomfortable hug ensues where I ensure that there is NO way that she can try to kiss me.

2DUL: So, I’ll email you my phone number tonight. It’s too bad that you’re busy tomorrow, but call me the next day. Also, my hair isn’t naturally curly.Me: Wha…what?2DUL: I just didn’t want to give you any false impressions.

False impressions? First, if I was the sort of person where your natural hair characteristics mattered to me in any way, why on earth would you want to date me? Second, here’s a thought: if you didn’t want to give me a false impression, you could try…oh…not curling your hair.

And besides, any impression I had of her hair is nothing compared to my impression that she went home to start packing.