The Single Girl at the Wedding

It’s the day after Memorial Day, which means that 87.2 percent of you were at weddings in the past three days, officially kicking off the wedding season in the Midwest.

The wedding I attend this weekend was absolutely beautiful. The ceremony was so incredibly touching – a true celebration of two people who fit each other so well – that I only had room for a couple of fleeting thoughts of, “Why the hell can’t I find someone like that?” before snapping back to the ceremony before me.

But there was no doubt that I was The Single Girl at the wedding. And by the Single Girl I mean THE Single Girl. While there were other unmarried women there, they had dates to the wedding, or love interests back home, or at least someone to ask them to dance during the slow songs.

Of course, the lack of dance partners is my fault. A dance floor at a wedding, where I have room to dance and an opportunity to shock the relatives, is simply too tempting for me. I readily make a fool of myself. I especially made a fool of myself when, despite not yet hearing back from Beyonce, I danced my tookus off to “Single Ladies,” even throwing in a few movies from the music video. Yes, I am THAT girl at the wedding.

So who the hell would have the balls to come ask THAT girl to dance during one of the slow songs? No one, is the short answer. A slow song comes on, the dance floor completely fills in with couples, even the bride’s 10 year-old nephew asks someone to dance with him, but I am forced to sit one out. I’m not complaining. A girl’s gotta hydrate sometime.

Perhaps most notable, from a single girl at a wedding perspective, was that there was no bouquet toss. This was a first for me, and wonderfully refreshing. While I think it’s a fun tradition, I didn’t have to be paraded out on the dance floor with all the other single women in a mass, competitive display of the assumption that all women want to get married. And I have to say, from bouquet tosses I’ve seen in the past, that assumption seems to be fairly well supported by women willing to make fools of themselves.

So I now find myself a fan of the no-bouquet toss. Why would I want to make a fool of myself among all the other single women when I’ve proven that I can make a fool of myself all on my own?