Savoring

Recently a friend of mine was minding her own business and WHAM! She fell in love.

It happens. I’ve seen it happen to many of my friends. They will meet someone they have a connection with unlike any connection that they have ever experienced before, and within a few weeks (or in this recent case, a few days), trajectories have changed and minor details like city of residence, owned property, number of future children and pets have all been discussed and decided upon.

It’s been wonderful and astounding to see this happen to my friends. It’s like seeing them win the lottery. Or suddenly get a physical condition that they will have to deal with the rest of their lives. Or some strange combination of those two.

It could happen to me. It could happen to me tomorrow. Am I full of silent, passionate pleas that it does? Nah. I can’t even imagine what that would be like from this vantage point of chronic short-lived internet interests.

While I am putting myself out there to hopefully increase the possibility that I meet someone who upends my life in such a way, the randomness of it does make singlehood suddenly seem fragile: that at any moment it could be taken away from me. And it makes me appreciate all the good things about being single.

Yes, I heard your question. All the good things about being single? Here ya go:

• Never having to check in with someone else’s schedule.
• Control over when your home is a place of solitude and when it’s time to crank the music.
• Letting your apartment go to shit for a few days without a sense of guilt because you’ve got better things to do and it’s not like you’re leaving it for someone else to clean up.
• Taking that phone call from a friend and talking as long as you want without wondering if you’re ignoring your significant other or what they’re thinking listening to your part of the conversation.
• Three words: Bad movie marathon.
• Absence of the thought, “I love him/her, but sometimes he/she drives me absolutely crazy.”

Obviously I would be willing to forgo all of these for a great connection with someone. But it’s true that there are aspects of singlehood that I miss when I'm in a serious relationship. I especially love the simplicity of getting an invitation and saying yes. Done. No consultation needed and no lag time. I also love that I am the sole music master of my abode. Do I need six straight hours of Jason Mraz? It shall be so! Who’s going to stop me? The repair guy who’s spending all day fixing my plumbing? Suck it up!

And to my gracious lovely, and now in love, friend: Wholehearted congratulations, my dear!