Why you should occasionally give a religious person a chance

Because they might turn out to be an atheist.

Having grown up completely outside of organized religion, and in adulthood taken quite seriously the t-shirt that says “Militant Agnostic: I don’t know and you don’t either,” it never even crossed my mind that I would date someone religious. But when Ham Radio Girl sent me a message and offered to help me get into ham radio (an unscratched itch of mine), the unimaginable happened: I went on a date with a Christian. 

Prior to the date, these are the ways that my friends helped me justify this decision: If she’s gay, she can’t be that Christian. She messaged you, so it must not be that important to her. Hey, Christianity is a spectrum!

Apparently that spectrum goes all the way to “atheist.”

I had prepared myself to talk about Christianity. To ask a lot of questions to determine where she was on that spectrum in ways that she wouldn’t feel attacked by a militant agnostic. To be respectful and diplomatic, like I was a guest in another culture. So when she said, “I’m really an atheist Christian. I pretty much just like the music and the community,” all of that diplomatic prep was for naught. And then it pretty much turned into a normal date!

And, unfortunately, a normal date for me includes the other person talking about themselves the whole time. She did ask me a few questions, but they were all asking back a question that I just asked her. Ugh. I feel like giving workshops on how to hold a conversation. As a service to the community.

But, funny enough, I seem to mind it less when the person talking about themselves is really freakin’ interesting! And I’m not just talking ham radio. This girl has performed CPR multiple times, saved a choking baby, and used to be on a rescue team that would go get injured rock climbers and ROCK CLIMB THEM TO SAFETY. This girl has more balls than all the men I’ve dated combined. 

Add to her balls: she’s smart, she’s funny, and she’s cute. So once again I’m headed to date #2 to test my assumptions from date #1, but really holding out the hope that it was just first date nerves.

But I think I’m learning. While I am working toward my first goal of determining if we are a good fit, I am also working toward a second goal of getting my ham radio license. Hooray! Dating as multitasking!