“…imbecility in females is a great enchancement of their personal charms, there is a portion of them [men] too reasonable, and too well informed themselves, to desire anything more in a woman than ignorance. But Catherine did not know her own advantages; did not know that a good-looking girl with an affectionate heart, and a very ignorant mind, cannot fail of attracting a clever young man, unless circumstances are particularly untoward.” Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
Oh Jane, you fellow single girl, how right you are.
I had a chance to prove this when camping on my recent travels. Nothing is quite the neon, flashing sign of singlehood like a woman camping alone: not only did I not have someone to camp with me, I have been single for so long that I finally said, “Screw it. I’m not putting off camping any longer just because I don’t have anyone to go with. I’m going.”
Perhaps it was me projecting, but I thought I read this train of thought on the face of a charming man I met just a couple sites down from mine. In that wonderful neighborhood spirit of, “We’re all in this together so we’re all going to watch out for each other” (no matter how brief the neighborhood is!), he and his two fellow travelers adopted me for the evening. As they were three interesting fellows, and could build one hell of a campfire, I was all for said adoption.
The two other men quickly mentioned their wives (thank you for being upfront with the oh-so-obviously single girl, gentlemen!), but the first charming man I met made no mention of any attachment, and the first half hour or so of conversation around the campfire made it fairly obvious it was game on.
I tried not to get ahead of myself. I tried not to think about how great a campsite hookup would be. I tried not to think about toned hiker legs, or how I had a two-person tent. You can see how successful I was in trying not to think about these things.
But nearly as soon as my hopes could leap out in front of me, they were dashed. A terrible thing happened. We started talking about the Electoral College.
Now, let me say that the conversation was great. Lively with differing views all around, and with plenty of respect to appreciate the other perspectives, although not a single mind was changed. Who knew an antiquated voting system would provide such entertainment for four people in the wilderness?
But for me and charming boy, it was game off. Maybe it’s just hard to flirt when debating. No, wait, I’ve totally pulled that off. I really believe that an unformed, moldable perspective that was grateful for his guidance would have been far more appealing to him than my formed and defended one. He continued to good-naturedly debate me, but it was clear he was no longer interested. The Electoral College ruined my chances at a romp in a sleeping bag.
Now, you might think that the lesson that I take from this is either that I am going to be single forever or I need to start playing dumb. I prefer this one: I’m now shooting for out of my league.
Seriously. Why not? I should choose a topic where I’m ignorant but want to learn, and find a genius in that field. My ignorance isn’t an embarrassment, it’s a turn-on!
If nothing else, this is a great way to prevent me from being intimidated dating anyone. Ignorance: lead me to bliss!
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