Single Girl in the ER

Don’t worry; I’m fine. And after a massive dose of antibiotics, so is my friend.

Now, after hearing so many horror stories about people having their significant other kicked out of the hospital because they were gay, I figured there was no way that they were going to let in a lowly friend and I expected an evening spent in the waiting room. I guess I forgot that this was Madison. Not only did I not even get any questions as to who I was and why I was trailing behind the ER admitee, but when another friend of ours showed up later she was ushered into our room! Yay having support winning out over…whatever stupid reasons it is they kick your peeps out of the hospital.

So, cue the normal ER procession: first the nurse who gives her either/or opinion, then the physician’s assistant who gives her only slightly different either/or opinion, and then leaves to get the doctor who, we assume, will give us a slight variation on the same either/or opinion.

If you ever have to go to the ER, this is my advice for you: bring three single girls. We were laughing so loudly that we wondered if we were disturbing the patients in the adjacent rooms. And then we laughed more.

Finally, after a long wait that doctors seem to do just to appear extra important, the door finally opens.

And in walks one of the most handsome men I have ever seen.

Immediately I had two thoughts: 1.) Who let Brad Pitt in here? and 2.) Who is this guy? I thought they were sending in the doctor!

But the 20-something Brad Pitt introduced himself as the doctor, and the three of us were so blown away that none of us remember his name.

I felt like I was in an alternate universe where George Clooney had landed the role in Thelma and Louise, and Brad Pitt ended up on ER, except that ER was real, in Madison, and the drama mostly revolved around antibiotic dosage. My friend up on the gurney had difficultly looking into his crystal blue eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. I sat motionless when he turned to us two friends and asked if we had any questions. “Are we on an episode of ER?” would probably not have been to my advantage.

My eyes were trained on his hands as he took his gloves off, and there was the giant wedding ring. Really. It was huge, with prominent ridges up the sides. It looked as if his wife had tried to find him a ring that would show through blue latex gloves.

So what is a good excuse to start hanging out around the medical campus?