The Big Ticket Items

We’ve all got ‘em. There are some things that should not be brought up on a first date, but definitely should before you join estates. I’m not telling you what any of mine are, but let’s just say that these are the types of big ticket items I’m talking about: prior jail time, estranged children, and how you saw the face of Jesus in that pancake at a truck stop in Georgia but ate it anyway. You were really hungry.

On a first date, these would just freak the other person out before they’ve even decided if they like you. But you should definitely mention that felony conviction before you move in together.

The rest is grey area where you just need to feel out when is a good time to enlighten the person you’re dating. Apparently for Ham Radio Girl, three dates is a good time to lay it all out on the table.

I now know all the dirt in her family history, all illegal drug use, things that could get her fired, and her somewhat complicated medical history.

At least I thought I did.

A couple days after date number three she called to chat, and mentioned that she was driving home at that moment. Driving while talking on a cell phone. Can we all just agree that this is dangerous and stupid?

But, realizing that how I like to yell at people who talk on their cell phones and drive might be one of my big ticket items, I gave a very restrained reply. Maybe I should have yelled, because she upped the ante to say that she also texts while driving and, oh by the way, is one moving violation away from being classified as legally blind and having her license revoked.

I am so glad I was on the phone with her during this conversation and she couldn’t see my face. Yup, the girl’s practically blind and can barely make out street signs. And she told me while she was driving. And talking on a cell phone. Oh, and most of the time she can’t see my face really clearly, either. Good to know. I’ll stop worrying if I have something stuck in my teeth.

But here’s what I can’t decide: should I admire her pluck for being forthright, or should I be freaked out at what more is to come? If this is what she talks about during the first few dates, there might be a felony conviction story coming. I hope she doesn’t tell me via a text while she's driving.