Curious what online dating is like? It’s like this.
Dude: there is attractive and then there is hot. My god im interested... jimMe: Did you just spam me?Dude: omg i didn't spam you . im darn interested. im a uw grad student. live on the west side. coffee?Me: I didn't see you on my list of visitors, so I assumed you just emailed every girl you saw. But since you did look at my profile, I'm curious: what was it that made you so "darn interested"?Dude: you like artichokes
Touche. I do, in fact, like artichokes. And he had to read all the way down to the END of the first sentence in my profile to find that gem out!
This conversation began when guy who wants children winked at me:
Me: I wink back with a caveat: please note that I hate children.Guy: Hi, I wanted to say hi and to see if you would be interested in teaching new things about yourself to learn more about human beings.
Um…what? I would like to point out that his profile states his first language is English, and the grammar on his profile was impeccable. Maybe he just wrote this while high.
For some reason, I think only one of the participants of the following conversation thought well of it. I’ll let you guess which one.
Some guy: very sexy!!Me: Are you referring to my sparkling wit and impressive intelligence?Some guy: nope, just your sexiness!Me: Same for your conversation skills.Some guy: Thank you!! I can't speak of your wit or intelligence ... I just know you are very sexy!!! I'm sure you are wonderful in every way possible!!! Getting some nice dates? I really wouldn't have any credibility with you if I went on and on about how witty and intelligent I have found you since the moment we have met and the fun times shared.Me: Wait...have we met?Some guy: That's my exact point!
Wait…what’s your point? Other than you don’t have anything to say to me? Poor guy. He had nothing to go on, nothing to comment on, no conversation fodder except my photo. Oh, and an in-depth essay on myself and my interests.
This next one needs a note of explanation: based on a bunch of multiple-choice questions, the dating site I’m using gives me a rating for how much of a match I am with another person, as well as an enemy rating. One night I got an instant message from someone rated my 99% enemy.
Scary looking guy: damn i was gonna say something and lost my train of thought, guess that means somethingMe: Dude, you're my 99% enemy? Were you TRYING to be my enemy?Scary looking guy: i never have to try, people just naturally hate me
Shockingly, this was not followed by me giving him my phone number.
My conclusion from all of this? The online dating scene is just like the offline dating scene: very little wheat, but a lot of chaff. And a lot of giving the shaft.
No comments:
Post a Comment