The Co-op

For those of us organic food loving Madisonians, the Willy Street Co-op is an institution and a shrine. It’s also the place you run into people, desired or not.

On my last visit to our esteemed co-op, within 10 minutes I had run into a friend of mine, laughed at a good-natured couple walking past me where the woman told the man that he was about to get slapped, and then ran into someone I had seen online.

To be fair, I knew this guy through a friend and we had met in person a few times before I came across his profile online. I sent him a message in an attempt to say, “Hey! I’m striking up a conversation with you!” but all I got in a reply was essentially, “I am politely returning your email because we know each other and not because I’m interested in furthering this conversation.”

And now here we were, accidentally locking eyes in the co-op, now required by civility to greet each other. We dutifully did so, and had a pleasant, brief conversation despite the fact that my constant inner monologue was, “Does he think I’m coming on to him? Am I acting flirty? Will this come off as desperate? When can this end?”

Upon returning from the co-op I was surprised to discover this message:

Re: Co-op

Noticed your amusement at my partner's comment about slapping me while in the co-op tonight. 

Anyway, I recognized you, and just wanted to say hi; sadly, I'm so pressed for time I don't have any extra to spare writing you some more. 

Hope your week is excellent...

Wow. Really? The Guy About to be Slapped turned out to be someone who has viewed my profile several times but never wrote me, and I had no interest in him as he was clear that he already had a partner and was looking for...uh...variety. So this guy that I have never met recognized me in passing? I am not that striking! And I don’t have a giant face tattoo or anything to give me away. This I had to respond to.

Whoa. I can't believe you recognized me. That's got to either say something about you or something about me, and I don't want to go too far down that path for fear that I'll find out. 

And here I just thought you were another guy about to get slapped in the co-op. 

Hope you have an excellent week, too!

His response:

For fear? That sounds either playful or dire! 

(I generally am going to remember someone that (this dating site) gives such a high grade to...) 

Thanks! How has (this dating site) been treating you? Any success/horror stories?

Oh honey. Yes and yes. But I’m going to end the communication here. I’m not interested in having a pen pal who already has a partner, despite the fact that he wouldn’t mind getting slapped around in the co-op.