Mostly.
So my beloved computer is becoming obsolete. While top of the line just seven years ago, it now cannot keep up with the new fangled technology that the Intertube People are using to stream video. The nice woman at the computer help desk informed me that there “may be some charities who are willing to take your computer and try to find a use for it.”
In an effort to resist our throw-away-and-upgrade culture (and to justify being a cheapskate) I am trying to minimize my need to stream video. It’s like I’m giving myself a stern talking-to.
“Do you really need to watch videos when you’re home? Isn’t there something better you could be doing?” “Are you that impatient that you can’t wait until you get to work and watch them there?” “Are you complaining that you only have one computer that you can watch videos on? People are starving in Africa. Bring your damn work computer home.”
And then, the mother of all realizations: “Oh wait…porn.”
I am NOT watching porn on my work computer. And I am NOT giving up watching porn. It’s been bad enough lately with trying to watch porn online when it looks like a flip-book in the control of someone with syrup-covered hands.
Hey, it’s better than nothing, but it’s only going to get worse.
As I have mentioned before, one of the worst parts of being single having no one to fantasize about. With no one that I get to see naked and no one on my radar that I want to see naked, porn can save the day. It’s a safety net. Dryspell? String of bad dates? No booty on the horizon? For these eventualities, God gave the single girl porn.
And since I use it rarely and have no particular must-have fetish, I am a cheap porn date. A free site or two with five-minute videos? Done. I’ve got some lovely thoughts and can write my own ending.
So, after being a porn freeloader for years, now I am seriously considering spending some serious cash on a new computer for the singular reason of free porn.
This is some expensive irony.
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